It’s been ages! Let’s try to remedy that …
Work and time/life management have been crazy lately, and I’m having to remind myself about self-care. A big part of my self-care is writing (for pleasure/self-therapy – trust me, I do plenty of academic writing), and I have gotten out of the habit of journaling and blogging. This makes me sad. Writers write, and I want and need to do so.
Thus: new resolution. Write for self-care every day for a week. (I’d like to say a month, or a year, but we’ll start with this baby step).
What’s been on my mind lately: self-created drama, and how it looks in hindsight.
This weekend, I had a lovely lunch with an old school friend. As we talked, we realized how far back we go – we were in Brownies together. Lori and I reconnected on Facebook recently (along with a lot of other “girls” from back in the day), and it was amazing to sit together, as “middle-aged women” (ugh), and reflect on our lives.
I was very self-conscious as a young person, and found it hard to get close to people. I would “turtle” in social situations, as I was terrified of rejection and disapproval. Back in my school days, I was caught up in a lot of self-created drama (the kind that’s mostly in your head): issues at home, at school, friendships, (un)popularity, feeling like an ugly duckling.
It’s funny how, in hindsight, so little of it matters.
It’s strange to hear from my old classmates that they always thought I was kind and nice and pretty.
It’s very poignant to think of how years, and experience, have mellowed us. We’ve all got some years on us now, and we’ve been through some really tough experiences – deaths, divorces, job insecurity – but we’ve gained so much wisdom in the process. We’re still “works in progress,” and always learning, but we have a better sense of what’s really important.
Love. Kindness. Courage. Keeping on. Asking for help when we need it. Getting outside our own heads in order to connect with others on a deeper, and more authentic level.
Written with special love for Lori and all of the “girl squad.” You ladies are amazing.