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Dear friends,

It wasn’t my best moment, and it didn’t leave me feeling very proud of myself.  I won’t bore you with the details, but I lost my temper during a phone call with the “customer service representative” of a large business.  I called regarding an ongoing problem that I’ve been dealing with for months, and every time they assure me it’s resolved, it comes up again.  This time was the last straw.

This time I was furious.

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I’m not proud of my behavior.  I yelled.  I ranted.  I used language that I normally don’t use.  I lost control of myself.

I apologized to the poor guy on the phone.  The problem wasn’t his fault, and I felt ashamed I’d taken my anger out on him.  I’m the one who’s always preaching hearts and flowers, peace and kindness, and yet I’d behaved like a shrew.

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Friends have assured me this is a forgivable transgression.  I apologized, and I’ve reflected on it.  I don’t usually lose my temper, and I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, so perhaps I just … blew up.  I needed to open the steam valve.

Even so, I’m sorry.  And I’ve been reflecting on the advice attributed to Thomas Jefferson:  “When angry, count to ten before you speak.  If very angry, count to one hundred.”

Next time, I’ll try to remember to take a moment, to pause and allow the red-hot fury to pass before I engage with others.  This was a good reminder, and a life lesson.

Working on kindness today.